Worth It!

The past several weeks we have been thrown into a new life station... now we have three boys instead of just two.  Some might not think that that is a big deal... I would definitely argue said point.  I only have two hands instead of three, and although the baby doesn't really need to be corralled at this point... my other two require my two hands and four or five others at times... making for an interesting trip to the grocery store - or anywhere else we may go.  


Speaking of the grocery store... it was today's adventure.  Sometimes after I go places with my guys I wonder what I was thinking after the fact.  Today was one such day.  I prayed on the way to the store - out loud for the boys to hear - for God's favor, for a calm trip, for sanity.  We were good until about half way through.  

My boys were permitted to push the little carts - first mistake.  I was trying to be accommodating for them... not a wise choice. I was initially hoping my oldest would want to push his baby brother in the big cart - to no avail.   I'm sure several customers got a chuckle of the cart parade winding up and down the aisles of Kroger - like a momma duck with her ducklings... however,  my ducks kept running into me and each other. Half way through the trip I ditched both little carts because it was getting ugly.  This brought about fall out number one.  


Fall out number one subsided rather quickly for my oldest - although he made it clear in no uncertain terms that his heart was NOT happy anymore and that his attitude was having a hard time adjusting.  BUT there wasn't falling on the floor accompanied by a heaping helping of screaming and crying for which I was so thankful. BECAUSE fall out number one which DID include a heaping helping of crying and screaming continued with my now middle child through the rest of the trip (about 20 more minutes of shopping) until we reach the check out.


Commence fall out number two:  middle child screaming because he wants gum instead of the M&Ms I promised for good behavior (only because I had a coupon for free M&Ms :) ).  Laid out completely on the floor in line at checkout.  Screaming.  Wailing.  Like I'm the worst mother in the world.  All I could say was "Jesus!"  "Jesus!" - not in an expletive manner, mind you.  But calling out for help - because at this point - He is the ONLY ONE that could help.  The cashier actually asked me how I was doing.  I looked at her and asked in complete honesty (not sarcastically or rudely)- "Do you really want to ask me that question now?"  Reassuringly, she encouraged me by telling me we have all been there - I smiled weakly , picked my child up off the floor, and paid for my groceries.


While we are driving home - at this point middle child has calmed down - (praise the Lord Jesus!) my oldest says to calm middle child - "Isn't it so cool that God knew us before He created the world!"  Middle son said, "Yeah! Before He created me."  Then I jumped in and added, "He knew us AND HE LOVED US!"  


My children ministered to me in the midst of my crazy afternoon.  I was brought to tears, not because of behavior that was uncontrollable, but because my children are getting it.  They can be challenging sometimes.  BUT they are getting it.  The realization that my LORD not only knew me before the dawn of time, BUT He also LOVED me.  He knew my issues!  He knew my inadequacies!  He knew my sin - and LOVED me.  It brought me to tears because my kids are getting it AND because of such huge shortcomings I have to hurdle as a parent.  I wonder why God thought that I was enough to parent these young men.  How He saw that I was the best choice - I'll never know.  But I will press on... the race isn't over.  I may struggle sometimes - many times... but my goal is to raise Godly men who love their LORD.  And after the struggles of today (and yesterday - but we're not going there) I'm pressing on with enough encouragement - just those few words spoken by my boys.  

It's all WORTH IT!